tomorrow
i've been hiding from the present, from my life. i lost myself, i lost my will to live. i've buried all my feelings, all my worries, all my likes, in a different world, in a different reality. i didn't care about what was happening i had no purpose. i is my drug, it is my alcohol, it is my addiction... it was
today is my tommorow, i want to change, i am trying to change. i have to face reality. All my worries that i buried, with gaming... all the worries that i tried to forget about by emmersing myself in uselessness... they'll always come back. all i did was just put off small worries until they got urgent, and now i am screwed.
I've done this countless of times. I became complacent, I mess up, I regret, I point the blame at others, but really it was all my own fault. then i am given mercy, i'm given another chance, He gives me another chance. He got me out of that rut that i put myself in, cause i thought i could do it all on my own.
i hope i learn this time. i hope this time i dont take His mercy for granted, His grace. cause i know everytime i do this to myself, i make Him sad.
why dont i just do what He wants me to do?
why cant i get off my lazy butt and get down to it?
why cant i rely on Him?
why cant i put all my worries in Him? rather than drowning it all away in some worldy lust, just like those acoholics do
but all i can do now is pray, confess, ask for humility, ask for forgiveness, ask for the help of Him, ask for a second chance, and change
today is tommorow, i said i'd change tommorow, and i'm trying
i am trying....
today is my tommorow, i want to change, i am trying to change. i have to face reality. All my worries that i buried, with gaming... all the worries that i tried to forget about by emmersing myself in uselessness... they'll always come back. all i did was just put off small worries until they got urgent, and now i am screwed.
I've done this countless of times. I became complacent, I mess up, I regret, I point the blame at others, but really it was all my own fault. then i am given mercy, i'm given another chance, He gives me another chance. He got me out of that rut that i put myself in, cause i thought i could do it all on my own.
i hope i learn this time. i hope this time i dont take His mercy for granted, His grace. cause i know everytime i do this to myself, i make Him sad.
why dont i just do what He wants me to do?
why cant i get off my lazy butt and get down to it?
why cant i rely on Him?
why cant i put all my worries in Him? rather than drowning it all away in some worldy lust, just like those acoholics do
but all i can do now is pray, confess, ask for humility, ask for forgiveness, ask for the help of Him, ask for a second chance, and change
today is tommorow, i said i'd change tommorow, and i'm trying
i am trying....
posted by kpsebo at 11:31 PM
2 Comments:
awesome man. just awesome. i will be praying for you.
just make sure that this is a means to an end, and not the end in itself. in other words, don't make 'not gaming' the goal... make the PURPOSE of not gaming the goal~
does that make sense??? hm... i suck at explaining myself...
ok well so last week i stayed off msn to get closer to God... but it didn't work cuz msn was all i thought about even though i did stay off it... duz it make more sense now?
man... i are suck
but, you do not~ you are roxor!!! take care bro
gaming is dangerous...plain and simple, i'm gonna start playing less, there are such better things to do...like TALKING to people...haha. i can keep you accountable if you do the same for me...haha. you need sleep. haha
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