ellipsis

pain's euphoria...
i experienced it this past little while...
in more way than just emotional...
that surreal feeling...
living but not really living...
that dreamlike state where nothing really matters anymore...
surrounding yourself with friends but still feeling lonely...
the want to see those little swelling red beads...
questioning why it doesn't...
pressing on harder...
questioning why it doesn't...
loosing sense of time in the pain...
questioning...
loosing my mind in the pain...
questioning...
loosing sleep because of the pain...
seeing the scars...
seeing those left-over shards of glass that was my heart...
the regret the next day...
the regret in the coming months...
in the coming years...
noone understands...
noone cares...
noone to understand...
noone to care for...
noone to share this pain...
why is pain always so solitary...

give up...
give up...
give up...
if you press a little bit harder your life will end...
this will end...
the pain...
the heartbreak...
it will end everything he says...

maybe...
maybe...
maybe i will...

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pain's euphoria

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